INDIAN ADS FOR A CAUSE ...

Management v/s Engineers

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.




She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."




The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."








"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.




"How did you know?"




"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."




The man below responded, "You must be in management."




"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"




"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"




BOTTOM LINE: just imagine the management guys who are basically engineers... no wonder!!!!!

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MAKE UR OWN GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE WITH UR NAME

Change Google Logos To Urs & Impress everyone..

Just open the following link in ur internet browser by just editing ur name.

www.GoogLogo.Info/se.php?name=URNAME

Change URNAME To The Name U Want & see It

How Guys tell sry after hurtng their G.f.

How Guys tell sry after hurtng their G.f.

1st day- sry
2nd day- sry pls
3rd day- jst talk to me once baby
4th day-pls listen na baby pls pls
5th day-plz itna naraz matt ho mujhse:(
6th day-I'l die wthout u agar tumne baat nai ki to mai suicide kar lunga
7th day
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Tere jaisi 36 ladkiya ko ghuma chuka hun, tu hi paida nai hui hai miss world !
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bandariya kahin ki...
hatt..furrrr...!

8th day-baby I'm really sorry I was drunk last nite..

A Biker's Desire..

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about
to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a
kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I
have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be
famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Japan disaster!....1/2 second before tsunami ........ found in camera

This picture was found in a camera during cleanup.
This is a fantastic photo!! Amazing that the film was still good - or memory stick. Either one, this really tells the story. Look at how high that wall of water is!!
½ a second before tsunami

The little boy's reply

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the
grocery Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who
asked, 'Son, can You tell me where the Post Office is?'

The little boy replied, 'Sure! Just go straight down this street a Coupla blocks and turn to your right.'

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, 'I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven.'

The little boy replied with a chuckle. 'Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office.'"

What an awesome answer..

It was a hot meeting at the conference hall, all the people from the dept were called in, the VP was looking much tensed.

The mood was so bad my friend asked "Hey, What is this meeting about?"

I told him may be the would decide when to have another meeting and chuckled.

People though nervous smiled at each other, then the VP started talking.

He said about the recent attrition rate was so high around 10 people had put in their papers, all experienced guys. It was the quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP.

The VP then turned to the manger and told "Hey take how much ever resources you want recruit or take them from other departments, but complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man."

To this the sweet manager humbly replied

"Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results, Don't give me nine wives and one month, I cannot do anything."

Everyone looked at him blank!

The VP did not have anything else to say and just walked away.... What an awesome answer.

May i know the time pls.... MUST READ

May I know the time please?!
Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,
if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.
Young Man:
Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then
have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles.
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter
again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start
waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and
tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a
Watch

This is how Indian farmers are very clever...

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural area. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and your not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer replied. “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the city, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Villages. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?”
The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up.”
The Lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the Lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn’t.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old tossed, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up, You can keep the duck!”

WOMEN RULES

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. When rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing
the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any time.

9. The male must never change his mind without written consent
from the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female
wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know
whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void.

14. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm
to the male.

Sick leave.. hahahaha

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What the hell are you doing?'


I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'

I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'


(You're going to love this....)






She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.' ;)

The Beauty of ENGLISH..

Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence: "I hit him in the eye yesterday"


The Query: What is this word?

The Answer: The word is "ONLY".
The Message:



1. ONLY I hit him in the eye yesterday. (No one else did.)

2. I ONLY hit him in the eye yesterday. (Did not slap him.)

3. I hit ONLY him in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit others.)

4. I hit him ONLY in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit outside the eye.)

5. I hit him in ONLY the eye yesterday. (Not other organs.)

6. I hit him in the ONLY eye yesterday. (He doesn't have another eye.)

7. I hit him in the eye ONLY yesterday. (Not today.)

8. I hit him in the eye yesterday ONLY. (Did not wait for today.)

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Dating tips for guys...

1. Wear the right kind of after-shave lotion or perfume. But remember, not too much, not too less!

2. Though you would like her to think of you as a toughie so she feels protected in your presence. This particular attitude puts off a lot of girls. Most of the times guys are so consumed with acting macho that makes girls think you are not sensitive enough! So, take it easy!

3. Most of the men don't think they have to pay attention to the way they dress. Well...you may not want to apply make-up though some guys do but that doesn't mean you land up on your date just like that! Remember to shave and a neat haircut should make you presentable. C'mon ...all you guys want your partners to look their best so why not look presentable yourself. She wouldn't like going out with a shabbily dressed date herself, right?

4. Remember to complement your date. But it should be genuine! It could be her hair, her smile, her outfit, her lipstick, her sense of humor... or just about anything! After all she's YOUR date! There's definitely something about this girl or you wouldn't be dating her in the first place, right?

5. Say their names every time you speak to them. It does make a person feel important. Having a pet name for them thought by you after a few dates together is a nice idea. It will make them feel special!

This happens only in INDIA..

RAJNIKANTH'S DOOR..

HAVE A LOOK AT RAJNIKANTH'S DOOR..

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