Wife Philosophy.. (Very Funny)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

-David Bissonette



After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

-Sacha Guitry



By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-Socrates




Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

-Neel





The great question.... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

-Dumas




I had some words with my wife, & she had some paragraphs with me.

-Sigmund Freud





'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.'

-Anonymous




'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

-Sam Kinison




'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

-James Holt McGavra





Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

-Patrick Murra






The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

-Nash




You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.

-Anonymous




My wife & I were happy for 20 yrs.
Then we met.

-Henny Youngman





A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

-Rodney Dangerfield



This one is rocking







A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine'


-Anonymous






First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

-Anonymous